Every year, before turning cattle out, the many many miles of pasture fences have to be checked for holes that an ornery calf or a mischievous cow could find their way through. Sometimes the repairs are extensive and take days while other years the repairs are easy and managable. I've never done much when it came to helping fix fence. It was always something Brad took care of. Something he knew how to do like the back of his hand. He had tons of practice at it. Take this very date back in 2007. A monster EF5 tornado leveled the town of Greensburg, some 30 miles to our southwest as the crow flies, and the same storm took a northeasterly path that spawn multiple tornados in it's wake. The pasture land that my Grandpa owns as well as the farm, just to happened to be in the path of destruction. I don't remember off the top of my head how many miles of pasture fence Brad, Logan and Carey rebuilt that year alone, but that was about all they did for a very long time. So Brad's fence building was top of the line.
Today, Kaleb, Lance, Lance's roommate at Milford Jackson, and I set out to check and fix the fence on the pasture we lease for the cows to graze over the summer. Did we know what we were doing? Sort of. Did we get the job done? Yes we did. Could Brad have done it faster? Probably. Was he watching over us, shaking his head at times and laughing when the hammer I was swinging connected with my thumb instead of the steeple I was aiming for? ABSOLUTELY! It was sad. It was happy. It was thorny. It was wet (thanks to Brad's sense of humor coming out in Kaleb) and while it made my heart ache that he wasn't physically there doing the work with us, it also made my heart proud and happy that we were able to do what he had taught us (well the boys more than me) to keep the cow herd that he loved and worked so hard for going.
Logan has been a HUGE help when it comes to our cow herd. He's been patient with me, gotten things done that needed to be done and started to migrate the herd south from their home pasture, towards the leased pasture. He's answered numerous questions I've had and I know will continue to answer my questions and help me out as the boys and I get our feet under us this year. Today, after finishing the fence, I hopped into Brad's 02 White Ford flatbed to move the herd south. I wasn't expecting to feel the emotions I felt when I first got in that truck. Brad hadn't driven it for several months as he had recently "upgraded" to the 02 Red Ford but he was still everywhere in that truck. From the dust that was always thick on the dashboard to the papers in the console. The smell. The feel of the steering wheel. The sound of the engine as I upshifted and then downshifted. I sobbed for a half mile as I felt the weight of his absence upon me. It's just a truck but it was HIS truck for every bit of 15+ years.
As I expected, as soon as the cows heard the purr of the diesel engine, they came a running. Brad always made sure to be calm and quiet around the cows and that we were as well. As a result, we have some of the quietest and gentle cows I've every been around. The girls quickly fell in behind his truck as I headed south to the next fence line to drop the gate and usher them through. Once we arrived at the watering hole, they received what they were really after the whole time; some delicious Cake Cubes. While they were quietly gobbling those up and making sure the babies were accounted for and behaving, I sat there and watched them. I talked to Brad and soaked up the sounds, the sun and prayed to God that we make Brad proud.
Brad was with us everywhere today. He was there when we did the work to fix the fence. He was there when I drove his old Ford for the first time since we lost him. He was there with me moving our cows. He was there with us today, just as he is there with us each and every day.
I took a moment while working on the fence to just soak up the sun and the familiar surroundings of the Sand Hills of Southern Stafford County. My eyes happened to fall on this fence corner. There's nothing special about it. Its a sturdy, functional corner that should last for many, many years to come. It was also built by my husband. Yes, he's with us everywhere.
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